Knowing the Truth - Anger Turned Inward

I was very angry!!! I hadn’t realized the anger had been with me most of my life. I had stuffed the anger down and continued on with life. These wounds burned under the surface. The outward show went on but the damage continued.

A recent journey of forgiveness had revealed much of this anger in me, toward myself and others. It had been slowly leaking out over the years.  Some instances had flowed harder and left more devastation in their wake.

One result of this built-up anger was an encounter with depression. I began my research on this diagnosis and discovered and interesting link between depression and anger. The description I found stated that, “Depression was anger turned inward.” That was me!

My anger stuffed had not gone away by trying to hide it. It had festered, warped, and tainted my life with its destructive power. Was there any hope and help? Yes. I have found it!

Anger has been a weakness in my life. It still is. My journey through forgiveness has helped to heal and repair much of the damage in my own life, but the journey does not end there. I have to daily fight against this weakness through God’s Word and prayer.

When I feel the anger and hurt I need to continually surrender my anger to God and claim the forgiveness that has already occurred. If God has brought something to mind that I have not dealt with, I need to forgive and surrender. This is all through His help and strength.

Over time God is helping me to be more sensitive to this weakness. He is giving great victory through His strength moment by moment. He has given me hope that anger will not control me like it has in the past. As I surrender my life to the control of the Holy Spirit I have the hope of His fruit being produced in my life.

God rescued me out of hopelessness to begin a journey for Truth and healing. He is healing me through His Word, the Truth, and prayer. Seeking God in this way has begun peeling away layers of lies and sin. Each removed layer gives a new perspective and understanding of what my life really is. My anger disguised and pushed down had not been recognized but His Truth reveals my sin and sets me free!

Heavenly Father,

Thank you that You want to set us free through Your Word! Help us know Your Truth. Help us to be quick to hear, slow to speak, and slow to become angry, knowing that our anger does not produce Your righteousness. We surrender our desires of control to You. Help us speak gentle answers and halt the harsh words, understanding that the emotion of anger is not wrong, it is the wrong actions we do in it. Help us to quickly resolve our conflicts of anger so that Satan will not get a place to stand in our lives. Reveal any hidden anger that we have not dealt with. Help us be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as You have forgiven us because of what Christ has done. Help us to forgive ourselves. Help us to put ourselves under Your control, resisting the devil, knowing that the devil will flee from us when we do this. We resist all the companions of anger: bitterness, wrath, clamor, slander, and all malice. Through the Holy Spirit produce this kind of fruit in our lives: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. We ask that You will accomplish all these things in us through Your power and strength, and for Your honor and glory.

 

In Jesus Name,

 

Amen!

~          ~          ~

Praying God’s Word…

“Know this, my beloved brothers: let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger; for the anger of man does not produce the righteousness of God.” (James 1:19-20 ESV)

 

“A gentle answer turns away wrath, But a harsh word stirs up anger.” (Proverbs 15:1-3 NASB)

 

“Be angry and do not sin; do not let the sun go down on your anger, and give no opportunity to the devil. Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice. Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.” (Ephesians 4:26-27, 31-32 ESV)

 

“Submit yourselves therefore to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you.” (James 4:7 ESV)

 “So I say, let the Holy Spirit guide your lives. Then you won’t be doing what your sinful nature craves. The sinful nature wants to do evil, which is just the opposite of what the Spirit wants. And the Spirit gives us desires that are the opposite of what the sinful nature desires. These two forces are constantly fighting each other, so you are not free to carry out your good intentions. But when you are directed by the Spirit, you are not under obligation to the law of Moses.

When you follow the desires of your sinful nature, the results are very clear: sexual immorality, impurity, lustful pleasures, idolatry, sorcery, hostility, quarreling, jealousy, outbursts of anger, selfish ambition, dissension, division, envy, drunkenness, wild parties, and other sins like these. Let me tell you again, as I have before, that anyone living that sort of life will not inherit the Kingdom of God.

But the Holy Spirit produces this kind of fruit in our lives: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. There is no law against these things!

Those who belong to Christ Jesus have nailed the passions and desires of their sinful nature to his cross and crucified them there.” (Galatians 5:16-24 NLT)

 

So Jesus said to the Jews who had believed him, “If you abide in my word, you are truly my disciples, and you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.”  (John 8:31-32 ESV)

 

“You have heard that it was said to those of old, ‘You shall not murder; and whoever murders will be liable to judgment.’ But I say to you that everyone who is angry with his brother will be liable to judgment; whoever insults his brother will be liable to the council; and whoever says, ‘You fool!’ will be liable to the hell of fire. So if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother has something against you, leave your gift there before the altar and go. First be reconciled to your brother, and then come and offer your gift. Come to terms quickly with your accuser while you are going with him to court, lest your accuser hand you over to the judge, and the judge to the guard, and you be put in prison. Truly, I say to you, you will never get out until you have paid the last penny.” (Matthew 5:21-26 ESV)

“I can do all things through him who strengthens me.” (Philippians 4:13 ESV)

 

 “Now to Him who is able to do far more abundantly beyond all that we ask or think, according to the power that works within us,” (Ephesians 3:20 NASB)

Knowing The Truth - Unexpected Forgiveness

I wanted to get rid of all that stood in the way of healing. I awoke in the middle of the night and I was ready.  Forgiveness.

Who, where, what, how?  The beginning.

 So I went all the way back to my first memories and followed many memories till the present-day. I prayed that I would forgive myself and others through all the guilt and pain situations. Each face that came to mind I either asked God to help me forgive them or asked that somehow God would allow them to forgive me. Heal me. Heal them.

A major part of this midnight, inward journey was the forgiving of me. I had to stop beating myself up over my mistakes and wrongdoing. Surrender. I couldn’t change what had happened in my life but I could choose to forgive and hand it all over to Someone who has done something about all of it. He paid the price for all of the sin, so I can live forgiven and free.

This unexpected forgiveness passage continued past the night and into the next several months. People and situations would come to mind and I would have to choose to forgive and surrender. Some remembrances brought urgent compellings to contact someone to ask for or give forgiveness. One instance was a phone call to a person whose name had just changed, the day before they moved beyond my contact information.

Appropriateness sometimes dictated whether I was able to contact someone. What had transpired in the past or our current lives may or may not have made contact between us fitting. Sometimes it was a communication written, surrendered, and destroyed. Sometimes it was a communication sent. The bottom line was to prayerfully consider what God would have me do. Each instance over time has brought great freedom, healing, and new growth.

Over time, forgiveness has amazingly cancelled the power of pain in my past. Instead of the pain dragging me to the depths of guilt, shame, and hurt I no longer feel the crushing weight. Occasions that come to mind may still hurt but they no longer hold their devastating hopelessness over me.

There is always hope for whatever is surrendered to God. Forgiveness is a choice of surrendering the outcome and discipline of a situation or person to the God who knows every detail and will exact perfect judgment, discipline, and punishment. I am responsible to deal with my part before God and let it go. I can do this through His help and strength.

Unexpected forgiveness had begun a journey that I hadn’t even known was needed. It has been another step of hope, healing, and burdens tumbling off. Releasing the pain through forgiveness has been essential. It has been hard but very good!

Heavenly Father,

Thank you that You have forgiven us because Christ paid the price. Reveal any unforgiveness in our hearts. Help us to let it go into Your hands. Help us to be kind, tenderhearted, and to forgive through the strength of Christ in us, the Holy Spirit. Help us not to let unforgiveness control us and steal our freedom. Heal us through forgiveness. Help us to give and receive the gift of forgiveness, knowing that our willingness to forgive affects our relationship with You and others. Your Word teaches us about forgiveness. Help us to hold on to these Truths, set us free! Thank you again that You loved us so much that You have forgiven us through Christ. I pray that our choices of forgiveness will bring honor and glory to You!

In Jesus Name,

Amen!

“And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ's sake hath forgiven you.” (Ephesians 4:32 KJV)

“I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me.” (Philippians 4:13 KJV)

“Now to him who is able to do far more abundantly than all that we ask or think, according to the power at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, forever and ever. Amen.”  (Ephesians 3:20-21 ESV)

 “It was for freedom that Christ set us free; therefore keep standing firm and do not be subject again to a yoke of slavery.” (Galatians 5:1 NASB)

“Bless the Lord, O my soul, and forget not all his benefits, who forgives all your iniquity, who heals all your diseases, who redeems your life from the pit, who crowns you with steadfast love and mercy,”  (Psalm 103:2-4 ESV)

“…but if you do not forgive others their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.” (Matthew 6:15 ESV)

 “So Jesus said to the Jews who had believed him, “If you abide in my word, you are truly my disciples, and you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.” (John 8:31-32 ESV)

Knowing the Truth – Facing My Fears

     My life had fallen and the scattering of what I had tried to juggle was all around me. Through reading God’s Word I began to see what my life really was behind the scenes. The Word revealed one piece of my brokenness as fear. I was terrified!

     I’m going to fail. I’m not going to measure up. What do they think? Am I doing it right? I don’t know what to do? What if I can’t do this? The pressure is too much. I’m out of control.

     Where is the hope? The waves of fear felt like drowning was my only option. I began to search for verses that related specifically to fear. Then, when fear washed over me I began to pray… “God help me not to fear for You are with me, help me not to be dismayed for You are my God. You will strengthen me, You will help me, You will uphold me with Your righteous right hand.” (Isaiah 41:10)  I would pray this over and over and over again.  The fear would still.

     Fear would flood and again I would pray verses. Fear would stop. At times the only way the fear would leave was if I faced it. Over time, one fear at a time, I prayerfully began to face what I feared. My prayers were God’s Word spoken over and over again.

     Certain areas are still weaknesses but I can say that some of my fears are under my feet. The victories are only through God’s power. By seeking God through His Word He will continue to reveal areas of fear but now I know the weapons to use in the fight and…I know He is with me!!!

Heavenly Father,

Thank you that You are with us wherever we go. Help us to be strong and courageous, not terrified or discouraged.  Help us come to You about everything.  Thank you for the weapon of the sword of the Spirit, which is Your Word, praying at all times in the Spirit. Thank you that through it we have Your divine power to destroy strongholds, arguments, and every lofty opinion raised against the knowledge of You. Help us to take every thought captive in obedience to Christ. Thank you that for freedom Christ has set us free, help us not to give ourselves over to the control of fear or anything else that will enslave us. Thank you that You have not given us a spirit of fear but of power and of love and of a sound mind. You are our refuge and shield, we put our hope in Your Word! Thank you for the hope and peace we have by trusting in You. Help us to trust You and rely on Your power in us, the Holy Spirit. Thank you for the victory you give us through Your Word.

In Jesus Name,

Amen!

Praying Scripture -

“Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be frightened, and do not be dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.” Joshua 1:9

“Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all comprehension, shall guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.” (Philippians 4:6-7)

“and take the helmet of salvation, and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God, praying at all times in the Spirit, with all prayer and supplication. To that end keep alert with all perseverance, making supplication for all the saints,” (Ephesians 6:17-18) 

"For though we walk in the flesh, we are not waging war according to the flesh.  For the weapons of our warfare are not of the flesh but have divine power to destroy strongholds. We destroy arguments and every lofty opinion raised against the knowledge of God, and take every thought captive to obey Christ,  being ready to punish every disobedience, when your obedience is complete.” (2 Corinthians 10:3-6)

“For freedom Christ has set us free; stand firm therefore, and do not submit again to a yoke of slavery.” (Galatians 5:1)

“For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind.” (2 Timothy 1:7 KJV)

“for God gave us a spirit not of fear but of power and love and self-control.” (2 Timothy 1:7 ESV)

 “You are my refuge and my shield; I have put my hope in your word.” (Psalm 119:114)

 “I rise before dawn and cry for help; I have put my hope in your word.” (Psalm 119:147)

“Now may the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, so that you will abound in hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.” (Romans 15:13)

“fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.” (Isaiah 41:10)

“for God is not a God of confusion but of peace, as in all the churches of the saints.” (1 Cor. 14:33)

“You keep him in perfect peace whose mind is stayed on you, because he trusts in you.  Trust in the Lord forever, for the Lord God is an everlasting rock.” (Isaiah 26:3-4)

 “And which of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life’s span?” (Luke 12:25,26)

“Peace I leave with you; My peace I give to you; not as the world gives, do I give to you. Let not your heart be troubled, nor let it be fearful.”  (John 14:27)

“These things I have spoken to you, that in Me you may have peace. In the world you have

tribulation, but take courage; I have overcome the world.” (John 16:33)

 “For the mind set on the flesh is death, but the mind set on the Spirit is life and peace,” (Romans 8:6)

 “Because of the tender mercy of our God, With which the Sunrise from on high will visit us,  To shine upon those who sit in darkness and the shadow of death, To guide our feet into the way of peace.” (Luke 1:78-79)

Definitions - 

What is Fear? Fear - noun \ˈfi(ə)r\

Definition of FEAR

1: an unpleasant often strong emotion caused by anticipation or awareness of danger and accompanied by increased autonomic activity

2: an instance of fear

—fear verb

http://www.merriam-webster.com/medical/fear?show=0&t=1338675060

Definition of FEAR

transitive verb

1 archaic : frighten

2 archaic : to feel fear in (oneself)

3: to have a reverential awe of <fear God>

4: to be afraid of : expect with alarm <fear the worst>

intransitive verb

: to be afraid or apprehensive <feared for their lives>

— fear·er noun

http://www.merriam-webster.com/medical/fear?show=0&t=1338675060